Talkin' 'Bout My New Religion

By Emily Millar

While it may be fashionable for foreign men to flirt with the religious side in a country where less than 1 percent of the population is Christian, what do they really think about their duties? And what about those who have a passion for Japan’s own spiritual side? Japanzine had the pleasure of chatting to a disillusioned former ‘priest’ who gave up faking it, and a woman who decided to pursue a life dedicated to Japan’s native religion.

The Shinto Priestess

Patricia Ormsby is currently Japan’s only foreign female Shinto priestess. She works at the Asakawa Konpira Shrine in Tokyo. We asked her about holding the mantle as a Western woman in Japan, practicing one of the least understood religions in the world.

Are you Japan’s only female Shinto priestess?

There are many Shinto priestesses in Japan. In fact, until about 300 years ago, the high priest at Ise Shrine was always a woman. I don't think there ever existed a time when there were no Shinto priestesses, but they have been excluded in recent centuries from most of the main roles. At any major shrine, you will see miko (shrine maidens) who perform in the ceremonies. A few women are starting to rise above that in the ranks, but most priestesses serve at small shrines and I doubt that many of them make a living at it. I serve strictly as a volunteer, donating away any money I receive for my services. My career is in translation and teaching languages. I am, however, currently Japan's only foreign Shinto priestess. 

How did you come to be a Shinto priestess? It's probably not something most people consider when they think about what they'd like to be when they 'grow up'.

It was all part of an effort to save a mountain. The Asakawa Kompira Shrine near Mt. Takao was reactivated about 15 years ago when the residents around it learned they could stop a really nasty development project from going ahead if the shrine was active. Three older men in the community underwent the training and started holding monthly services at the shrine. They also held picnics on the first Sunday of each month.

I became involved with the picnics about ten years ago, when I was living in Takao. About eight years ago an arsonist burned down the shrine, and we all thought it was at the landowner's instigation, hoping to be allowed to go ahead with development. It turned out to be one deranged guy. Still, everyone cooperated and rebuilt a lovely new shrine within about a month. I happened to be out of the country then, but wanted to support the effort somehow. I approached the priests about the possibility of becoming one too, and they were overjoyed and got me the necessary introduction to the main shrine for me to attend the training.

The teachers at the main Kompira Shrine in Shikoku were surprised to see me, to say the least. It took them two years, but they decided that, as this was a shrine to the god of ocean-faring merchants - among other things - it was time to modernize.

Did you have an interest in Shintoism early on, or was it something you suddenly came across and wanted to pursue more deeply?

I have a very unusual religious background, brought up as a Buddhist (Jodo-Shinshu) in Salt Lake City, Utah. The pressure from our neighbors made me think deeply about religion - try explaining to people that you are not a ‘devil worshipper.’ I had this challenge from age seven. I succumbed to the pressure at age 14 and became an unofficial Mormon for two years, and that gave me further insight into religions. After that, I went back to being a Buddhist, but with an open mind to the supernatural.

I never really thought that I would be accepted into Shinto. I timidly visited shrines and bought a few amulets, but found next to no explanation about the details of Shinto until I became involved with the Asakawa Kompira Shrine. I realize now that their version of Shinto as a staunch guardian of our natural environment is unique to them, but environmental preservation is a fundamental principle of Shinto and practiced to varying degrees by all the shrines and their priests. The universal Shinto ideal of expressing gratitude daily to the natural forces that give us life has made me a far happier person.

What sort of duties do you perform regularly?

I have now moved away from Tokyo and live at a considerable distance, which makes it difficult for me to serve regularly at our shrine. But, at times when they particularly need me, I help prepare for and perform the monthly ceremonies and those at the New Year. I have also performed weddings, ground-breaking ceremonies for new houses and purification ceremonies for people requesting them. My husband and I attend and perform roles in the main festival of the Kompira Shrine in Shikoku, October 9-11 each year. I try to rise before dawn each day and I relate to people as someone who might be able to help them in various ways regarding their total well-being. I also spend time each morning praying in front of the kamidana in our house and I occasionally perform cold-water purification (misogi) in the early morning - but anyone can do that, regardless of training and qualification.

What sort of reaction do you get from people (both Japanese and foreign) when they find out what you do?

Usually, people in other countries have no idea whatsoever what Shinto is. I would be reluctant to tell any WWII veteran about it out of respect for what they had to suffer. Shinto had a role in that disaster, but I think it has been overstated because in the west we think in terms of God commanding people to obey, including going to war. In Japan, the 'gods' (kami) don't command, so it was mostly a totalitarian regime commanding people to obey, which was obviously just as effective. They utilized the symbolism of Shinto, but to what degree it was the cause of the war is debatable.

As for the Japanese, they express surprise at my being a Shinto priestess, but they normally treat it like a joke. Some think I mean a shrine maiden, which I'm not. Some don't realize there are a lot of women priests serving at small shrines throughout Japan.  This is fine by me - I'm not eager to impress them. I don't want anyone thinking I'm a threat to Japan's traditions.

What is the most difficult aspect of your occupation?

The most difficult thing is occasional inter-personal conflicts. The most rewarding is insight into the ancient wisdom that has powered Japan to the forefront internationally.

The Fake Priest

David Murton from Tochigi Prefecture is currently in the process of hanging up his robes for the final time, having had enough of the fake priest business after 7 heady years as a top clergyman for his company. We drilled him on his time spent reciting Japanese scriptures to high-paying couples, both human and canine.

How many weddings do you estimate you've presided over?

I'd say I've done close to 1000 over the 7 years I've been in this god-awful business. That includes human weddings, canine weddings and TV commercials.

Was there some sort of priest school you had to attend in order to perform ceremonies?

Are you serious? This is Japan! Of course there was! Nobody gets to do anything without some kind of nominal training. In our case, we had a couple of run-throughs with a dragon-lady who had the personal skills of a bad-tempered guard dog. Talk about making people nervous! This industry is generally full of very highly-strung people who will bend over backwards to make a sale. Woe betide anyone who sits down in the chapel when the staff are in the vicinity. God help you if you are seen sipping water within sight of a customer. The amount of ridiculous rules and regulations you need to learn is staggering.

In terms of religious training - you have to have been baptised, and that's about it. Since nobody can really check if you have or you haven't, all you have to do is say yes convincingly enough at an interview, and that's you all clergied up. I heard of a company near here that recently employed a Jewish guy to do this job. Our company insisted that we meet once a year with a real priest for bible training. As nice as the guy was, I couldn't help wondering if he was just someone else who said yes convincingly enough when they asked him, "are you a priest?" I mean, how many "real priests" would join the merchants in the temple and get involved in a sham like this?

Have you ever met a priest who takes what he does seriously?

Sadly, yes. Lots of them. Nearly always from the American south. I worked with a guy who - rightly or wrongly - felt that he couldn't do this job without having first gotten ordained. Admirable, maybe, but he got ordained online, just like Joey from Friends. I've often wondered if it made him feel any better about himself. Whatever gets you to the altar, I suppose.

There's a guy I work with now who hands out leaflets inviting us to join him at his church on Sundays. How can someone who considers himself a real priest do this job? It's the devil's work, surely. 

Do they allow women to become priests?

Don't be daft! It's all about how tall and foreign you are. The priests who get the most work are either 6'3" with blond hair and a jutting jawline, or big, burly, and vaguely like Santa Claus. People below 6 feet tall need not apply. Same goes for anyone without the requisite phallic appendage.

Have you had any strange requests on the job?

Well, the canine weddings were quite something, taking animal cruelty to a whole new level. The two dogs, dressed in their formal gowns and tuxedos, were escorted to the alter by their obviously deranged owners, and made to dip their paws in bowls of paint in order to "sign" the wedding certificates. I don't believe I've ever felt so ridiculous as when I had to read Christian wedding vows to Taro and Pochi (both of whom actually had a dressing room, by the way, whilst I was asked to get changed under the stairs) and say amen after they affected their reply. People who feel that fake priests are just ripping off unknowing Japanese innocents need only consider this sorry mess. Quite obviously it's Christianity that's getting ripped off. The customers are happy as long as it's all kawaii.

Have you ever had a bride hit on you?

Invariably, we are treated as props in a nauseating fairytale nightmare. In most big wedding halls, the staff orders you around as though you are a cleaner, and you are afforded little respect, if any. The bride is usually suffering from pretensions of grandeur and probably feels similarly. She's also standing next to the man she claims to love, which might have something to do with my low success rate on the chapel score cards.

As a man of unquestionable moral righteousness, do you ever worry about the post-mortal ramifications of carrying out holy matrimony in a non-Christian country, under God's good name, for ridiculous amounts of yen?

Well, it has crossed my mind, but like most fake priests, I'm an atheist. It's not something that's likely to keep me awake at night.

Have you kept in touch with any of the couples you married, or are all ties severed once they hit the honeymoon suite?

I haven't kept in touch with any of them. That would require a level of honesty that this business could not survive. However, on several occasions I've been approached at weddings by grinning faces who claim I "did them" last autumn. But that's another story entirely...


For more on alternative forms of gaijin employment, head to our Can't Teach Won't Teach page.

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