Ask Kazuhide - Feb 2010

By Kazuhide Otani

Akemashite Omedetou Gozaimasu.

I am have the big realize for to the end of the my rife. Of course my rife is longer than you, because I am the careful diet and strong ki Japanese man, but still I realizing, the Japanese god is give me the long and wonderful life. I should be the more thankful and pure person. So for the 2010, I am decide to become the even more happy and positive Kazuhide Otani. Yoroshiku Onegaishimasu!

Dear Kazuhide,

Why do the Japanese censor their porn? Why don't Japanese have all of their porn uncensored like the rest of the world?

Barry

Dear Barry,

Old Kazuhide is used to say, "you are idiot" and I finish with you. But I am the new Kazuhide. This is the very good question, and I want to give the very serious answer. Basicarry, mosaic of the Japanese private parts is part of Japan economic stimulus package for the Japanese from middle of 1990s. We are too sad to fire so many old Japanese, especially policemens, so we create the new job, "mosaic checking person", and his job is to watch all the Japanese porno, and make sure private parts is covered by the digital mosaic. As you know, Japan is have healthy porno supply, so this job is very high employment. It is financed by the penalty taxes for porno company that doesn't follow mosaic rules. The benefit is doubles, because we increase the employment of older salaryman, and we keep the morals of Japanese people. Even it is the rape porno, it is more moral because we have mosaic. To eliminate the censorship, is mean we lose both of these benefit, and no more stimulating to the old men.

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Dear Kazuhide,

Why is it that Japanese men need to undo their belts and unbutton their pants to use a urinal? Unzipping my fly almost always works for me. Thanks for your time.

Bobby Weaver

Dear Bobby,

Some Japanese is having the soba noodle. Some Japanese is have the udon noodle, require difficult trouser access. Some of the people, like you, is have inari zushi, allow the very easy to access.

Kazu, can you explain the role of the "virus preventing" mask in Japanese society? Don’t people here know that wearing masks is ineffectual?

Anonymous

Dear Anon,

Basicarry, Asian is always looks bery cool with the mask. From before the Edo jidai, when ninja is appear in the everyday life, everyone is agree the Japanese "almond eye" behind the mask is looking so very sexy. It used to be everyone is ninja, the old man or woman, children, everyone wear the mask and throwing shuriken. Now we just wearing the mask for fun.

Dear Kazuhide,

Why do so many sumo wrestlers smoke weed?

John

John,

I’m sorry, but even as the positive person, I have to say this is the idiot question. Are you not even think before you asking this? Marijuana is obviously increase the appetite of the Sumo!

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